It's good to have a blog.. I cannot really express myself through talking. I mostly express myself through writing. Today, I called home - my parents and sister. The phone call with my sister was an hour long, it was unbelievable!! That's how I miss my family. I can't wait to be with them. Sometimes, it's hard to be alone here with no family. I am always afraid that I am not good enough of a daughter, sibling or a friend. I always hope that my family and friends know that I really care about them and love them so much it kind of hurts me. I am afraid that I don't express my feelings enough like this. And for those who are away it kind of breaks me that I think that I don't spend a lot of time with them. I'm always scared that I am too self-centered and all that. But I just hope that I at least try to think about others before I think about myself. I have done a lot of things that I wish I didn't do to my close ones and I take them all back. But I know without any thought of thinking twice, I will do them again. That's what I tend to do and for that, I'm truly sorry in advance. But I wish that mostly my siblings know that these things happen within families. I wish they understand that I still love them and care for them. Mostly for my younger siblings, I just hope they aim for a bright future. And I hope that they know that with love, I am there for them. Since I have known that I am considered as being an older sister. I always thought that I had to be the second parent to look out for my younger siblings. Sometimes, without showing it,I tend to get very protective. I really hope that they found a way to get out of the situation from the negatives things that are around them. All I am saying is.. I care about them a lot. It's hard... I wish that I had the power to delete all the negative things in the universe. But I hope they know. Even for me, life is tough. It's tough for everyone on the planet. But every bad thing passes. Kavarnatu nuigaluarpa anigusuuq. Suungujuutuinnaqattata. Nalligusukkunga iluunnasinni.
Okay, I hope that was understandable. I hope you understand how I felt, feel and will always feel. That was my sisterly/daughterly love.. :) I just didn't know how to let that go for ages.. Okay, today.. Is Thursday! I had two classes. I was late for my french study session :(. But I had a media journal due today. I did it half an hour before class. I just wrote how hockey world exists in my world - north and south. And that class always ends an hour before it is suppose to end. Which is always good because the class goes right through lunchtime. So I get my lunch and get ready for my Digital Media class. For my next assignment in Digital Media, I have to make some kind of a website. I don't know what to do yet. But my teacher suggested that I tell some kind of a story that I would tell to my nephew.. That's how awesome she is. I have a few ideas, but they are not concrete yet. But when I finish that assignment, I hope that I will have a way to show it to you, because it's complicated!!
Anyway, I'll jump to the picture topic. Today, I didn't have any ideas of what picture I was going to take. But I walked Lucy to the bus stop and found a nice subject/object. A sign of my school's name or whatever you might call those. I kind of photoshopped it. If you want to see the original photo, I am for sure going to post it up on facebook. The sign is beside the "College MacDonald" bus stop where you can take the 200 and 211 bus.
Enjoy!
"Friends cry, people die, parents yell, you always try, you're never good enough and you don't know why." - Unknown
PS: I love you.
It's so funny that as you are in the south away from your family, the NORTH is where I feel/am away from mine. We're like opposites and also the same! Sometimes I really miss them so much it hurts, sometimes I feel like the worst sister and daughter since I haven't called in a while, and then when I finally do see them or talk to them on the phone or online, I know that even with the distance they TOTALLY know how much I love them no matter what.
ReplyDeleteI felt really sad a few nights ago when I called home. My dad is quite down and not happy with the job he has. He has been doing the same job for over 20 years and LOVES it with all his heart, so it felt weird that he now is not happy in it. Turns out his boss is not being nice anymore, so it's really hard on my dad. I felt really homesick that day, wishing I could be there to take his mind of work, make him laugh and give him a hug.
Being away is hard, but I find that everywhere I go I meet people who also feel like family to me. So, for example, while I am away from the north, my heart aches a bit also for the people here... and the same when I first left Ottawa, I missed them so much, since my friends there had become like family. Finding "fake family" everywhere I go makes it a little easier to be away from my real blood family, not that it's the same, but it makes it easier!!
Well, I am rambling now. Great post as always! Later girly!!
G.